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May 28th, 2008

A mother and her boyfriend fell in love and decided to get married. When Mom told0982667 her kids the news, the younger girl said “Oh”…then paused and asked the question, “Does that mean that when you get divorced from him, we’ll have to go to his house on the weekends too?

Susan Wisdom, LPC
May 2008

ADJUSTMENT PAINS: How To Get Through Them

May 8th, 2008

Two different stories of early angst:

We loved having our mom all to ourselves before she remarried. It was just the 3 of us. We were close.

After the marriage, everything changed. Sometimes we’d get her to ourselves, but more often than not she was with him and our stepsiblings. Whenever anything went wrong in our stepfamily, our mom had to put out the fire. That was her job. She had to care for and support everyone, which meant spending precious time away from us. We got a raw deal!

…from 2 biological sons

Some days being with my stepdaughter was great! We’d talk, laugh, and make up stories. I’d get swept up into feelings that we were connected. We liked each other. It felt like family. But when my husband came home, it was all over. I immediately got the cold shoulder. I felt awkward and left out. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I’d usually go into the kitchen to cook or clean counter tops. That’s where I belonged.

.…from a stepmom

While the adjustment pains are hard, fortunately you learn as you go along. And so does everyone else in the family. If only I knew then what I know now!

With the gift of hindsight, I offer tips and strategies to deal with the adjustment pains:

Read the rest of this entry »

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