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Don’t Believe It

September 30th, 2008

As stepcouples, do you ever watch other “normal” families together… Familytalking, playing, laughing and teasing each other so comfortably, kids calling their parents Mom and Dad etc? Ever notice that the parents always seem know what to do and they always jump in without hesitation. Seems so natural and comfortable. Everyone fits together nicely…so it seems.

I used to stare at other families and conclude that they had NO problems; they were PERFECT families. I was the one who had problems. My family was different. We were a stepfamily…hardly a perfect family. There were days when I didn’t know IF or HOW I could do it. I’d come home from these family gatherings depressed. I felt alone, and incompetent. There didn’t seem to be many stepfamilies to model from. If there were, they weren’t obvious. Too often, stepfamilies suffer from a shadow of shame that follow them, so they hide it.

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Handling School Performance As A Stepcouple:

September 17th, 2008

When Hers Get A’s and Mine Get C’s ….or worse

The carefree days of summer are over and the kids are back in school.Children Problems are already surfacing over school performance differences in his and her kids.

Her two daughters are excellent students – always have been. They’re active in sports, get almost straight A’s and even have time left to text message or chat on their cells. Yeah, they’re high achievers – PERFECT kids!

His son is far from perfect in school. He hates school and is lucky to make C’s. He rarely takes time to do his homework. He’s very popular and has tons of friends. People like him, but school is not his thing!

During the weeks when the son visits his Dad and stepmom, there’s tension. The standards for school performance are high in that house. There’s constant arguing between the stepcouple. The stepmom begs her husband to “Do something! Just go into his room and make him do his homework. I don’t understand what’s so hard about that. He’s just lazy!”

Dad has a different point of view. He says, “I don’t think homework is all that important. I think there are more important things in life. I never did homework as a boy and look how successful I am!” They fight about “her perfect students” vs “his social animal”.

Both are frustrated. The new stepcouple marriage is definitely feeling the pressure.

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