March 18th, 2015
STEPCOUPLING® BRAND FOR SALE!
Are you passionate about counseling? Are you interested in a unique opportunity to work with couples navigating the unchartered waters of Stepcoupling? Do you have an interest in teaching and helping stepcouples stay together with all the difficult challenges they face today?
This unique brand of counseling is available to someone truly interested in taking over the proprietary brand, Stepcoupling® and building it into a state-of-the-art business.
What’s in it for you? The potential for taking this business opportunity to the next level is exciting including, in-person as well as on-line work in the following areas: counseling, coaching, writing, blogging, informational seminars and webinars, lecturing, education & support groups, and anything else that supports stepcouples and directs stepfamilies towards success.
Stepcoupling® is a prevalent and increasingly common situation in families today. Its growth requires fostering the counseling and the branded technique that I started years ago.
But it’s time for me to pass the baton on. And now, the Stepcoupling® business is for sale.
STEPCOUPLING® BUSINESS (the background)
My journey of Stepcoupling® is a personal one: a venture involving love and re-marriage and ultimately leading to a counseling practice and my book titled, “Stepcoupling®: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family” (published by Three Rivers Press, division of Random House 2002).
My Stepcoupling® legacy began with falling in love with a divorced man who was raising his three children alone. I was also divorced with full time custody of my two, young sons. David and I fell fast in love!
Now nearly forty years later we’re still married and still in love. We’re both retired… and aging. We remember the early days when our five children and stepchildren were young. We remember the up’s and down’s, the drama, as well as the fun times. There was always some issue to deal with. Today our kids are grown with families of their own.
I’m passing on the legacy I started years ago: that a healthy Stepcouple is the key to stepfamily success. It’s the glue that makes stepfamilies strong and enduring.
My brand, Stepcoupling® with a service Trademark® is for sale. It includes use of the word, “Stepcoupling” as well as the domain name, Stepcoupling.com, all content on the blog site, and the registered Service Trademark, Stepcoupling ® with the US Government.
Price is negotiable. There is tremendous need and opportunity here. One thing that is certain is that stepcouples need support, tools, encouragement, education, and ways to stay together. You could be that resource utilizing a well-recognized brand, Stepcoupling®.
If you are interested, please contact us. And, please share this. It’s a great opportunity for the right person!
I look forward to hearing from you! I also appreciate you sharing this with counselors you know that might be interested in this opportunity.
SUSAN WISDOM, MA, LPC (Retired)
November 20th, 2014
David and I have had many Thanksgivings to reflect on with our stepfamily tribe…39 to be exact! There was always a lot of hype around Thanksgiving – one, because it was FUN and two, because it was only one month ’til Christmas!
Historically our whole family participated in getting Tom Turkey on the dining table with all the usual side dishes. The girls decorated the table and made individual place tags. The boys peeled and mashed potatoes. Later they washed dishes…sort of. There was always music in the background selected by the kids, of course. One of the best parts was the kitchen smell that filled the house.
Crazy as it sounds, our Thanksgiving dinners don’t change, even though our numbers have grown. There were always drop-ins and newcomers along the way. At times, I’ve tried to change it, but NO GO! The kids insist on turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, spinach casserole, (not loved by everybody) ice cream and pie! And that’s the way it is. Total pig-out!
I think back to some of the disasters we’ve had: the year the sink stopped up beyond repair, the time the turkey hit the floor, the beige wallpaper paste-like gravy disaster, and the year one of the kids surprised me with a bunch of last minute friends from college. There’s always the incessant, “When’s dinner ready?” and the challenge of keeping hands from pulling the crispy turkey skin off before the bird gets to the platter.
After the Thanksgiving blessing, there is lively debate, laughing, eye-rolling, teasing, inside jokes and memories of how this stepfamily has written its own story. After dinner we all pass out in front of the TV watching football or a movie.
We still do Thanksgiving together…not always at our house as before. It always tickles me to see how our kids have inherited the traditions that we started so long ago. Our children have all grown and have kids of their own. Our numbers have swelled. We’re always crammed around the dining room table and additional card tables. The love, traditions and stories keep us coming back year after year.
Enjoy writing your own stories this year. Happy Thanksgiving.
Susan Wisdom MA retired Licensed Professional Counselor
November 17, 2014
September 3rd, 2014
|I’m thinking about a very sweet, special person who I loved dearly when I was growing up. I called her Nana. She was my step grandmother who married my grandfather after his first wife died. Nana never had any children of her own. I never knew any other grandmother. My sister Sara and I spent many weekends at Nana and Grandpa’s house when our parents had other stuff going on…parties to go to and people to see. We loved her house! It was big with lots of neat hiding places and even a meandering stream in the back yard. She took us on fun outings. We were never bored at her house, and this was before TV and computers were invented.
In the summers, Sara and I went to her mountain cabin in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, Lassen County. Her house was on a small remote lake where there was no electricity. We made do with oil lamps, a big fireplace, and an old-fashioned icebox. We fed the chipmunks and toasted marshmallows. We swam in the lake and played with the other lake kids. It was paradise! She used to take me shopping to San Francisco, across the Bay from Berkeley where we lived. We rode the orange Keystone Train across the Bay Bridge. We always ate lunch at her favorite restaurant. In those days we dressed up to go to the City. I wore my fancy shoes, and of course she always wore a hat and gloves. Nana loved animals of all kinds, but she was particularly fond of her two Welsh Corgis, Teddy and Scampi. She was rarely seen without them. She walked them in her lovely garden, city streets or a mountain trail depending on where she was.
Nana, my step grandmother, and her Corgis
I’ll never forget the phone call from my mother telling me the sad news, “Nana died suddenly on her way to the hospital. She didn’t suffer.” She died of an apparent heart attack. She was 81 years old. I remember her funeral. It was packed. The memories people shared, the stories that were told and the tears shed were all chilling and sad, but also impressive! She was Nana to us, and Aunt Lou to her family of cousins, nieces and nephews. She was smart, funny, and generous in all ways. She had so much to give. I believe she cared deeply for the people in her stepfamily– her husband, my grandfather, her stepdaughter, my mother, and her two-step grandchildren, my sister and me. I still think of Nana. I’d love to bring her back to be able to talk with her. I’d love to have her meet my stepfamily. Sadly I don’t hold a candle to her saintliness as a stepmom and grandmother. She was the perfect Nana. I loved her dearly and I miss her still.
Susan Wisdom, retired Counselor and Author September 2014
February 12th, 2014
Valentines Day is the perfect time to focus on your stepcouple relationship. If you’re looking for help and inspiration, read on…
Posted with permission by StepMom Magazine and Peggy Nolan
A Review of: “Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family”
By Susan Wisdom, LPC and Jennifer Green
REVIEWED BY PEGGY NOLAN, MA, RYT in StepMom Magazine, February, 2014
If I could mail every new and struggling stepmom a care package, I would enclose a box of tissue for those first few difficult months, a new tube of pretty pink lip-gloss to give her spirits a lift, some dark chocolate and a copy of “Stepcoupling,” by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green.
This invaluable resource is packed with information, tips and strategies based on Wisdom’s own stepcoupling experience and her professional counseling services for divorcing couples and stepfamilies.
“Stepcoupling” revolves around two major premises: The eventual success of the new family hinges on the quality and strength of the stepcouple’s relationship, and the success of the stepcouple hinges on the willingness and ability of both partners to grapple with personal and family issues.
The book has six main chapters that fortify stepcouples with new ways to think about old behaviors. Two chapters stand above the rest: Chapter 2, “Tailoring Your Expectations of your Spouse and Family,” and Chapter 3, “Shaping and Knowing Your Own Boundaries.”
Chapter 2 covers a topic that nearly every stepfamily struggles with – expectations. Many stepcouples expect their stepfamily to behave just like a first family. Your partner may expect you to love his or her children like your own (and you may be guilty of the same). You may expect to have the same span of control and authority in your home with someone else’s children. Many new stepparents expect the same warm and fuzzy feelings from the stepkids to continue after they have married the kids’ biological parent. When these things don’t come to fruition, you may very well be left with what Wisdom refers to as the Three D’s of expectations: disappointment, discord and disillusionment. If you find yourself feeling disappointed or disillusioned and you and your spouse are arguing nearly all the time, read the second chapter first.
The second most important chapter in “Stepcoupling” is the third chapter. “Shaping and Knowing Your Own Boundaries.” If you are a people pleaser or a chronic yes person, this chapter is vital. Too often, women in the stepmom role complain about how poorly their partner’s ex-wife treats them or about how their stepchildren disrespect them. This chapter helps stepmoms understand the value of personal boundaries and why they are so important within stepfamilies.
It is also the responsibility of the stepcouple to agree upon, establish and enforce boundaries around their marriage. In the beginning, your new marriage is the weakest relationship in the stepfamily mix. In her book, Wisdom asserts that strengthening the stepcouple boundary is of vital importance and requires intention, time and tack. When you create your stepcouple bubble, you take care of yourselves and the children in your home.
Wisdom explains how detrimental anger toward an ex-spouse can be. “All the vocabulary, time, and energy you put into anger at the ex is being diverted from other areas of your life,” she writes. For stepmoms who complain about how much power the ex-wife wields, beware of collusion. According to Wisdom, “the ultimate irony is what happens when a stepcouple colludes in anger toward an ex-spouse: The ex gets exactly what he or she wants. Ex-spouses who seem to sabotage your relationship want a loud and clear presence in your home. When you talk constantly about what a jerk your ex-husband is or plot ways to foil his ex-wife, you grant that presence. Maybe the ex isn’t there physically, but he or she rules your life emotionally.”
Ultimately, the everyday realities of stepcoupling are what get most stepfamilies in trouble. Some examples are mundane, ordinary things like chore distribution, parenting styles, discipline, finances, stressful days at work, the sick puppy, the pile of laundry, homework, dinnertime, etc. Different values and priorities will chip away and erode your union. That is why it’s so important to make your marriage and your partnership the top priority. When your marriage is solid, everyone in the family benefits. If you want to fortify your relationship with your partner, “Stepcoupling” is a must read.
Each chapter includes thought provoking questions that you can discuss together during your couple time. Stepcouples will benefit from reading about the experiences of other stepparents and stepkids and will receive practical and useful guidance to manage the complex challenges that can divide stepcouples.
The only topic that’s missing from this otherwise invaluable resource is money and finances. As you read through and discuss this book with your spouse, don’t forget to talk about your finances: child support, extracurricular activities for kids, college, retirement and every other area that money touches your life.
This Valentine’s Day, give yourself and your partner the gift of greater understanding by reading this book together to become a strong, united, and fortified stepcouple!
PEGGY NOLAN MA, RYT is the CEO of Frazzled to Fabulous, a website dedicated to helping women reclaim the lives they were born to live. Peggy is a contributing writer to the Huffington Post and The Women’s Toolbox. She is the mother of two adult children and the grandmother of two. She is a 2nd degree clack belt in Muay Thai Kickboxing and a certified yoga teacher. Peggy and her husband, Richard, live in Derry, New Hampshire.
You can purchase a copy of the book on Amazon. Also available in your Kindle store!
November 20th, 2013
David and I have had many Thanksgivings to reflect on with our stepfamily tribe…38 to be exact! There was always a lot of hype around Thanksgiving – one, because it was FUN and two, because it was only one month ’til Christmas!
Historically, our whole family participated in getting Tom Turkey on the dining table with all the usual side dishes. The two girls decorated the table and made individual place tags. The boys peeled and mashed potatoes. Later they washed dishes…sort of. There was always music in the background selected by the kids, of course. One of the best parts was the kitchen smell that filled the house.
Crazy as it sounds, our Thanksgiving dinners don’t change, even though our numbers have grown and there are always drop ins and newcomers along the way. At times, I’ve tried to change it, but NO GO! The kids insist on turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, spinach casserole, (not loved by everybody) ice cream and pie! And that’s the way it is. Total pig-out!
I think back to some of the disasters we’ve had: the year the sink stopped up beyond repair, the time the turkey hit the floor, the beige wallpaper paste-like gravy disaster, and the time one of the kids surprised me with a bunch of last minute friends from college. There’s always the incessant, “When’s dinner ready?” and the challenge of keeping hands from pulling the crispy turkey skin off before the bird gets to the platter.
After the Thanksgiving blessing, there is lively debate, laughing, eye-rolling, teasing, inside jokes and memories of how this stepfamily has written its own story. After dinner we pass out in front of the TV watching football or a movie.
We still do Thanksgiving together. It always tickles me to see how our kids have inherited the traditions that we started so long ago. Our children have all grown and have kids of their own. Our numbers have swelled to 22. We’re crammed around the dining room table and card tables. The love, traditions and stories keep us coming back year after year.
Enjoy writing your own good stories this year. Happy Thanksgiving!
Susan Wisdom MA