As a companion to my book, this blog is a platform for me to share resources, tools, and inspiration with readers in all stages of stepcoupling. I’ve shared a lot of my personal experiences and lessons I learned as a stepmother. In the next phase of the blog, I’m going to shift perspectives a bit and share some clinical experiences (stripped of any identifying information, or course) that I think readers will find helpful.
So much of what stepcouples experience is normal, and universal…but bitterly painful at times. Yet it’s hard to talk about it with friends, family, and people in the workplace. First, they wouldn’t understand, and second, it’s shameful and embarrassing.
The realities of each stepfamily are unique and complex—we cannot compare our family relationships with other “normal” families. The presence of children and spouses from previous marriages push our buttons beyond belief. Add to that those personal issues that get in our way of building healthy relationships. My goal as a clinician has always been to grant people permission to be honest and open in evaluating their reality. I’ve seen clients in all kinds of marriages/partnerships… that’s just the way it is!
The practice of candid self-assessment is an ongoing one. I hope the stories I will share in the coming months will help readers reflect on their own behavior and the dynamics of their marriage and their parenting. Check the blog in two weeks or so.
Susan Wisdom MA
October 2011