June « 2008 « Stepcoupling

Purchase Stepcoupling

Contributor to Stepmom Magazine

Become a Fan of Stepcoupling on Facebook!


Blog Categories:


Parenting Blog Directory

HOW DO YOU GIVE WHAT YOU DIDN’T GET AS A CHILD?

June 19th, 2008

A Stretch for Stepcouples0648096

As a counselor, I hear a lot of stories, many of which amaze me:

Mom was married 4 times. One of my stepfathers sexually abused me.

I saw my stepfather hit my mother.

My dad left us for another woman when I was 7.

Mom was mentally ill and hospitalized for long periods at a time.

I just remember my father being drunk all the time.

If you have similar stories in your memory banks, you will relate to this blog. You grew up with a poor road map for how to love, trust and support another person in a relationship. You didn’t experience it in your parents’ relationship nor did you get your early childhood needs met consistently. Your early losses probably forced you to grow up insecure and angry.

In taking clinical histories, I notice that many of you left home early. Some girls got pregnant and married their high school boyfriends. Guys left as soon as they could at 18 and never went back. You felt strong and determined to not need parents… or anyone. You were survivors!

Read the rest of this entry »

SUMMER VISITATION IN STEPFAMILIES: Providing Warm Memories. . . or Surviving Mayhem

June 5th, 2008

Summer is here! That means spending more time with stepchildren who areis301-020 out of school on summer break. For many stepcouples it means an extended visit from children who live elsewhere the rest of the year. Here are some tips for stepcouples and stepparents to make the most of their time together this summer

Now’s the time to prepare your heart and your home!

Prepare your heart

• Know that transitions are tough on children. Lower your expectations a notch or two. Ease into family routines slowly rather than expecting stepchildren to smile and sit up straight at the dinner table from Day One.

• Build – or rebuild – your relationship with your stepchildren slowly. Be flexible. Realistically, stepchildren (and biological children, too) are likely to ignore and reject you at some point. Don’t take it personally.

• Expect meltdowns. Visiting children have major adjustments to make. They miss their home, their absent parent, their friends, their pets, etc. Tears, withdrawal, and anger are common reactions. It won’t last long.

Read the rest of this entry »

Nike Air Max Classic BW Sko Online Nike Air Total Max Sko Online Nike Kobe 10 Sko Online Nike Air Max LTD 2 Sko Online Nike Heels Sko Online