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For Stepmothers: Tough Lesson About Expectations

February 11th, 2009

Years ago, I married into a stepfamily   My husband had full time custody of pe00597271his kids and a demanding career, so guess who had the job of raising the kids!  Cathy was almost 8 and WILLFUL.

Naïve and full of expectations, I looked forward to buying her sweet, feminine dresses and doing girl stuff.  (I had 2 biological sons already.)  I had in my mind what little girls were supposed to look like and be like – cute and feminine, sweet and obedient, as I was as a child.  Little did I know!

The first time I took her shopping for an outfit was NOT FUN.  Everything I liked, she hated.  She liked the ugliest, most ghastly stuff…in my opinion.   I made her get what I thought was an appropriate outfit.  She shrugged and sulked, but complied.

Things didn’t get any better. We always disagreed on what she should look like.  Finally we reached an agreement.  She “agreed” that she would wear skirts and dresses three out of five days to school and the other 2 days she could wear her jeans.  Fine, I thought.

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