During holiday time, do you ever feel like “throwing a shoe at your partner and calling him a dog”? You may not be alone, but that’s probably not the most effective way to deal with holiday and financial stresses.
Holidays are tough, especially this year, it seems. If you live in the Northwest, you’re house bound by an arctic blast that won’t let up. Say goodbye to holiday parties, activities, shopping, etc… too icy and no money anyway! The kids/stepkids are due for their visits, and you’re torn between looking forward to it and dreading it. The kids may be feeling the same way.
Nerves are frazzled. You wish you could be like a bear and come out when it’s all over. But that’s not an option. So prepare yourself. Be strong and keep your stepcouple connection and communication on a high level. WORK ON IT.
Here are some stepcouple DO’S AND DON’TS during this holiday season.
DON’T stand back and wish for a bad situation to go away. That won’t make it happen. Stay present and deal with whatever comes up. Cooperate with your partner or delegate him (or her) to do the job, but don’t get angry if they don’t do it your way.
DON’T take the stress and tension out on each other. Don’t point fingers of blame at each other, the kids, or anyone else. That’s not helpful. Remember – everyone feels the pressure…not just you. Rely on each other for love and support.
DON’T spend too much money. Watch it! FYI: the two days before Christmas are the worst when money just flows out of my wallet!
DON’T drink too much alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, so if you drink when you’re feeling depressed or angry, you double the depressive effect on your brain…and feel worse.
DO take stock of the good things you have. Don’t lose sight of what brought you together in the first place. Share holiday affirmations and traditions with each other and the children. Enjoy special moments.
DO think of the kids. Try not to let your adult stresses affect the little ones.
DO take time together as a couple. Tell the kids you’re “taking a break”. They’ll be ok. That’s what master bedrooms are for.
I’ll see you in 2009.
P.S. If you find you’re having a rough time during the holidays, refer back to these tips.